Fame, money, Ferrari's, extra-curricular activities of the druggy kind - sounds like a dream, right? Don't tell that to Joey Kramer, who's written a brutally frank and moving account of his lifelong battles with addictions, depression, and anxiety, brought on by an overbearing father, a tortured relationship with Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler, and the pressures of performing on a global level.
Don't worry—there's no self-pity in Hit Hard: A Story Of Hitting Rock Bottom At The Top. In fact, Kramer says he intends the book to be an inspiration to those with similar issues. Of course, it's also an intense page-turner for anyone who's a fan of Aerosmith, or big-time rock n' roll in general.
Kramer rang up Blender to discuss, the book, his new iPhone app, and the future of Aerosmith.
Why write this book now?
It came to my attention that I had the ability to help people, and bring some aid to folks that were suffering from depression and addiction and anxiety. I wanted to write about my life, an autobiography, but I didn't want it to be just another rock n' roll memoir, with all the war stories, and the same bullshit that are in other books. I wanted it to be different.
So I realized that if I included my bouts with depression and anxiety and drug addiction and alcoholism then I could make my book a little more interesting, and maybe even help some people out. If I do that with even one or two people, then my goal has been accomplished.
The books opens with a terrifying breakdown that you endured in 1995, just as Aerosmith is preparing to record an album. What was going through your head then? Did you think you'd be able to continue as a member of the band?
Well, I didn't really know at the time. I didn't know what was happening to me. I mean, I knew how I felt—I was emotionally bankrupt. I didn't know what direction I was going in, where I was coming from, why I was feeling the way I was... it was really a mystery to me. When I went away [to a clinic in California] to deal with it, I really received an education about it, and I was able to make some choices.
But the emotional pain I was feeling was far more severe than anything I knew existed. It was a really difficult time for me—probably the most difficult period of my life. But as it turns out, the experience made me really strong, and taught me to deal with everything that was going on in my life. So here I am fifteen years later, stronger than I've ever been. You had a combative relationship with your father, but eventually you were able to make peace with him. What similarities do you think you shared with your father?
I think I got a lot of the anxiety that I had from him. But he also taught me that in life, the time comes when you need to slow down, but the one thing you can never do is stop, or quit. You can never do that. That's basically the premise of what got me through my '95 breakdown. I remember that he told me that you can always slow down and take it easy for a bit, but whatever you do, don't ever stop. You describe Steven Tyler as a longtime hero to you, dating back to when you both were teenagers, and that your desire to please him was sometimes a demon you had to bear. Tell me about that?
Well, Steven may have been a demon, but he was also an angel at the same time. Steven and I have a longtime, long-running tumultuous relationship which today is a very loving one. Today, we know how to deal with one another on a much gentler and more even keel. It took everything that we went through together—doing that dance together—to get to that space. What much of it was about was me putting my shit on him, my feelings about my father that I was dealing with. I was replacing that one person in my life that I was trying to please all the time, but never could, and always wanting to be better because of that.
So in the long run, it took that desire to please that person, whether it was my father, or Steven, for me to be a better person, and a better musician. I never gave up, even though they were never going to be pleased. I realized that no matter how well you do something, it can always be a little bit better. And that's pretty much the premise that the band is based on—no matter how well we do something, whether it's a song, or an album cover, or whatever, we're always looking for a way to tweak it, to make it a little better. I think over time, that's helped us to keep ahead of the pack.
In the book you discuss your opinions on the dynamics of rock bands, and how you've felt since your earliest days as a musician that bands should be brothers, a group of brothers. Joe Perry, to your disappointment, has never shared that view. How necessary is it for bands to be personally close?
I don't think that it matters anymore. Ideally, I love it being that way. Originally, one of things that attracted me to being in a band was not just the music but the camaraderie with a band of brothers. That idea was really inviting and exciting to me.
But once you realize that the group of people you're with can make really good music together, you can agree to disagree with those that you don't necessarily get along with. Joe and I are not the best friends in the world, but I love him, and I know that he loves me. We deal with one another because we respect each other as people, first and foremost.
Acceptance is the answer here. I think you have to accept yourself first, and like yourself first, before you can exchange that with anybody else. Once you do that, and can accept somebody else, you don't need to be in love with that person to make it work.
Was that a realization that the band recently came to?
I think it was a realization that we came to after years of being together. At the same time, I would still love us to have that brotherly love, but I accept the fact that that's not how humans are. One of the issues that you wrestled with for a long time was the fact that your identity was so tied to Aerosmith. Can you explain that?
I had a lot of confusion about that—I was confusing who I was with what I was. The trick was to separate them and accept them both equally. I had to accept that I was a regular human being with regular things to deal with. When I had my breakdown, I couldn't tell myself that I wasn't allowed to have these feelings because I was the drummer in Aerosmith. I mean, I'm just Joey. What I do for a living, being Joey from Aerosmith, is a an entirely different part of my life. I had to separate the two.
Sometimes there was an abusive side to being in a band, and being myself was the loving side—and I had to differentiate the two. After so many years of being on top, in a highly successful, world famous band, what are some of your proudest musical moments?
One of my favorite memories is from around 1976 or 1977 when we played the Pontiac Silverdome. It was the first time that I stood on the stage myself and did an extended drum solo in front of 80,000 people. The response that I got was so overwhelming that I wanted to give myself to those people—I wanted to sacrifice myself to those people. It's an experience I'll never forget.
You've just released an iPhone app, Hit Hard, a Rock Band/Guitar Hero-style game that challenges drummers [see trailer below]. How involved were you with the development of the game?
Very involved—that's me playing the drums on there. We made sure it would sound good on the tiny phone speaker, and that's even my voice you hear on there. I also pegged and assigned the different difficulty settings on each level. In the book, you discuss many of your musical influences as a kid—for example, you were one of the millions to see Ringo Starr and the Beatles perform on the Ed Sullivan Show. What current drummers and current bands are you a fan of?
Well, I listen to a lot of old music, to old rhythm and blues... that's where my roots are. As for current bands, the drummer is the most important element for me. The Foo Fighters are one band I like, with Taylor Hawkins drumming. I like Tre Cool and Green Day. But really, I listen to a lot of James Brown, Tower Of Power, and Earth, Wind & Fire. Many of my heroes are gone.
Can you update us on the current state of Aerosmith?
The current state of Aerosmith is that we'll be out touring inside of a month. We're going to South America, Europe, the U.K., and the States. After that, we're going to make a new album.
And after that, who knows, but for right now, everything's copacetic, the band is very much together, and everything's good. Which Joey Kramer is happier: the Joey Kramer that took advantage of rock n' roll excess, or the 59-year-old Joey Kramer?
The 59-year-old Joey Kramer, without a doubt. But I must say that without going through all of that excess that the old Joey went through, I wouldn't be where I am now. The road is what it is, and you just have to appreciate it. And you know, the trip continues.
Hit Hard: A Story of Hitting Rock Bottom at the Top, is available from Amazon.
Joey Kramer Hit Hard, the iPhone app, can be purchased on iTunes. Trailer:
